Happiness is a choice. As you come to know that, you can choose to be happy no matter what's going on in your physical body (and as we get older it seems as though something is almost always going on). Yet the truth is, for most of us, the better we feel the easier it is to choose happiness, and do whatever inner or outer work may be required to support our choice.
If your body is out of balance in some way--if you're in pain, tired, or not feeling well--it makes creating a happiness habit that much harder. So, for the next 30 days, choose and nurture one healthy habit that will support your happiness.
Leave your SHOULDs at the door!
If you're like me, you can instantly think of at least eight things you could and should be doing, right now, to support your health. But you know as well as I do that trying to change everything at once is a recipe for disaster.
Before choosing that one healthy habit you’re going to focus on, I want you to make a list of EVERYTHING you can think of that you believe you need to change to be healthier.
This is the way I’d like you to make your list:
- Instead of setting a goal to “lose 15 pounds in 30 days,” set an intention to “feel better by eating healthier.”
- Instead of setting a goal to “drink 12 glasses of water a day,” set an intention to “feel more energetic by drinking more water.”
- Instead of setting a goal to “meditate for 20 minutes twice a day,” set an intention to “feel more relaxed and peaceful by meditating more.”
I think you get the idea. It’s a softer approach that will cut your resistance way down (especially when you're looking at the entire list), which means it’s far more likely you’ll actually do whatever you've set your mind to, and stick with it.
To get a sense of how focusing in a more general way on what you'd like to achieve affects your level of either resistance or allowing, hold each one of the following three goals (for either losing weight or exercising more) in your mind for 20 or 30 seconds.
While focusing on each of these goals, as they move from very specific to more general, notice any physical sensations you're experiencing--is your body more tense or relaxed? Notice any emotions that are arising--are your feelings leaning more toward excitement or overwhelm? Notice what thoughts (or mental images) are going through your mind--are they more encouraging or discouraging? Also notice in what ways you feel open and available to what you want, and in what ways you feel closed and cut off from it.
- I want to lose XX pounds in 30 days
(or: I want to exercise for 45 minutes EVERY day) - I want to eat healthier
(or: I want to exercise more) - I want to feel better
On the third choice, wanting to feel better, there was probably little or no split energy or resistance around it. When working with an intention, it's helpful to put the majority of your focus on what you have the least resistance toward.
I know this sounds counter-intuitive but the more general your focus, the more energy you have available (and the easier it is) to take the action steps you desire, or are inspired, to take. Once you've gotten started, even if you're only taking baby steps, momentum begins to build and you can become more specific about what you want (and set more specific goals) without wrestling as much with resistance.
When you write down everything you’d like to work on you might feel a little overwhelmed, momentarily, but the act of telling the truth, as well as getting all the things you think you "should" do out of your head and onto the page, can actually release some of the pressure you feel.
Choose only one intention and one action to focus on.
Once you’ve completed your list, choose one intention (such as feeling more relaxed) and one action (by meditating more) to focus on. You’ll probably act on some of the others, as well, but only make a commitment to one of them.
It may be tempting to choose more than one health habit to focus on, but change is rarely simple. There are usually feelings and fears to face, as well as thoughts and beliefs. You may also need to face past events or what others want for or from you. So give yourself the space to gently explore just one health habit you'd like to create in support of your journey toward greater happiness.
Remember, the point of all this is that a healthier body supports a happier you. Yet it actually works the other way, as well--a happier you supports a healthier body. When you’re happy, you’re more likely to treat your body with respect and take better care of it.
What one healthy habit do you want to focus on for the next 30 days?
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